But Not In That Way
by Under.Konoha's.Sky
Summary: Karma finally puts to bed what everyone in her life has been waiting for her to do, to leave Amy in peace. Karma attempts to navigate her life without Amy in the shadows to push her along. Nobody said it would be easy. Will Karma come to regret her decision of reuniting Sabrina and Amy?


The kiss had been... strangely mesmerising. She touched her lips and savored the rush of exhilaration, as she watched Felix dip further towards her to initiate another kiss. She surprised herself again by meeting him halfway this time, wondering just what sort of spell Felix had casted on her to keep... wanting to kiss him.

When they finally stopped kissing to catch their breath, she caught the tomato-red blush tinging Felix's cheeks.

 _'He's actually embarrassed!'_ she giggled to herself.

Looking back up at him now, she couldn't help but notice just how... brooding he appeared. His thick black hair, which curled around his forehead, dark intense eyes, and tiny smile put her at ease. He seemed very genuine, drama free, and... there had been a spark in his eyes, gone as quickly as it came, that kept her intrigued. Maybe there was more to him that met the eye.

She turned back around, this time with her back facing him. He moved up against her, and she couldn't help the shivers that moved up and down her bare arms as she felt her back flatly settle against his torso. She felt his breath on her neck, and felt his arms snake around her waist tightly, and dare she say even _possessively?_

For a moment, she let herself get lost in the feel of his body, comparing the comfort to a mug of hot cocoa on a rainy day.

"Okay everyone! Who's ready to hear us play?!" announced Shane. His voice jolted Karma out of her thoughts and back into reality.

"I think that's your cue, Karma..." Felix murmured against her hair.

She smiled, feeling a little dazed and surprisingly happy with the feel of him against her. She couldn't deny that their chemistry was... remarkable.

She reluctantly turned around in his arms and gave him a peck, before breaking away from his embrace.

Walking towards the stage, she felt every pair of eyes in that room follow her up the tiny staircase and onto the stage.

She took the mic that Shane was handing to her, smiled at how lovingly Noah was staring at Shane, and began to sing.

Everyone whooped and hollered with excitement, and she and her friends revelled in the crowd's demand for an encore. She looked for Felix in the crowd, as her lust-addled brain replayed the electric shocks she'd felt when they'd kissed.

But the person who'd caught her eye first was Amy. Amy and Sabrina.

Karma watched as Sabrina poured Amy some punch and linked arms with her. Amy's eyes crinkled with joy as she accepted the punch and beamed at Sabrina.

Her stomach did a somersault. Why was her life so complicated? Why had things reached this point?

And... was she really ready to allow Amy's attention to be monopolized by someone other than her?

She chuckled to herself inwardly. Of course she was ready. This was the reason why she'd helped Sabrina fix things with Amy. She'd came to the startling realization that her and Amy were currently not good for eachother, and that they'd both needed serious space. Not space because of a fight. But an organic one. This would be the first time Karma would try to really let go of Amy.

She'd kept Amy hostage for far too long.

With that final thought, she twirled the microphone in her hands playfully and threw the audience a bittersweet smile, before belting out another song.

 _2 months later_

Karma watched from the window as Dianne carried the last of her bags along the sidewalk and into the house. Their house. _Her_ house.

She immediately fired off a text to her boyfriend of two months, Felix.

 _"So the nut has entered the building, hm."_

She chuckled at his response, picturing him muttering the words in a husky, sarcastic voice.

 _"I'm coming over. Is anybody home?"_ She texted back.

 _"Except for Ezra, no. You can ask Ezra about the venue I mentioned the night before,"_ was his immediate response.

Karma's eyes twinkled with possibility. She couldn't wait to tell Shane and Noah!

She squealed and tore into her wardrobe, momentarily forgetting about the weirdo preparing to nest in the home she'd been born and raised in.

Karma found herself pouring yet another glass of her mother's aged attic-stored wine. She drained the cup of its red fluid in no time, and poured herself another.

But she'd overestimated her sobriety. The glass slipped out of her fingers and crashed to the floor with a satisfying _klink,_ and she wondered, not for the first time that day, why things could never just work out for her.

She settled onto her bed and found herself recalling the day's events.

 _***Flashback_

 _Karma paced back and forth in the designated green room, her black wedges squeaking against the wooden floorboard._

 _"What the hell is taking Shane and Noah so long? We're almost up! This is ridiculous!" she screamed._

 _Felix dashed to where she stood and took her into his arms._

 _"Hey hey now relax... I'm sure they're on their way. They'll be here any minute. Screaming and yelling will mess up that sexy voice of yours, little lady," Felix murmured._

 _Karma blushed. Felix was the only person she knew capable of soothing her and exciting her at the same time._

 _"You're probably right..." Karma mumbled. She smushed her face to his chest and breathed in his musky scent. "I hope Shane isn't pulling one of his shenanigans. I don't know if I'll be able to forgive him for this one."_

 _The dread in Karma's gut continued to compound, with each passing minute._

 _She released herself from Felix's arms and poured herself a cup of coffee._

 _Karma was fuming. She and Felix could be found seated on a neon pink leather couch, opposite a mini fridge. They were still in the green room. And they were up in 5 minutes._

 _She tried to control her ragged breathing as she scrolled down her list of contacts for the umpteenth time, zeroing in on Shane's number._

 _She'd called him 25 times, had left him 25 messages. There was literally hundreds of texts waiting to be read on his phone. Or maybe a hundred texts sitting ignored. She didn't know, and frankly, at this point she didn't care._

 _One thing was clear. His phone which had been on had magically switched off after the tenth call. Shane would never allow his phone to die, let alone to leave it somewhere._

 _She gritted her teeth and squirmed in her seat._

 _Just then, a man walked over to where Karma was seated with a cup of water._

 _Karma examined him briefly. He looked to be in his mid-thirties; tall, bald, and buff, with several hoops running from the top of his right earlobe to the bottom. He wore a T-shirt that read 'wicked!' across it in crimson red, and a pair of slim camo joggers. His boots were black as well, with worn grey laces._

 _The man cleared his throat, and Felix looked up from the virtual pool game he was playing on his phone. Then Felix beamed._

 _"Ezra!" Felix exclaimed happily, as he stood up to greet his friend._

 _Ezra took Felix's right hand and clasped it between his own for a moment, before letting go._

 _"Felix. It's been a couple weeks, hasn't it? Anyway, I came to check in. Is everyone ready?"_

 _Karma marvelled at how low Ezra's voice was. A baritone if she'd ever heard one..._

 _She stood up to join the conversation._

 _"Ezra? Hi, um... how to say this..." she looked down at her shoes for a moment, hating herself for letting this opportunity slip through her fingers. Oh why did she have to get her hopes up? "My um.. band-mates aren't here yet... I've been trying to get a hold of them for the past two hours, and I'm kind of worried." Actually, she was angry. Something was telling her that they were ignoring her calls... a feeling she just couldn't shake. "I don't think I'll be able to perform without them. I'm sorry."_

 _She sighed loudly._

 _To her surprise, Ezra didn't seem all that surprised._

 _A beat of silence later, Ezra cleared his throat again._

 _"Well. Why don't you just perform then? You have done solo performances before, right?" This time Ezra turned to Felix. "She has, right?"_

 _Felix threw Karma a worried glance, before nodding slowly._

 _Karma was ready to throw up. How could this be happening? This could have been her night! The band's night!_

 _She held back a sob and nodded shakily._

 _"Y-yes... yes." She stood up straighter and smoothed her shimmering red hair down. "My guitar is right there," she nodded in the direction of the table, "and I'm ready to kick some ass."_

 _Felix cracked a smile, and Ezra nodded approvingly._

 _A burst of confidence surged through her, as she prepared herself. She would be performing in front of the biggest crowd ever, for her._

 _She took the guitar and wore it over her bright green crop top._

 _***End Flashback_

What had happened next had been a complete and utter disaster.

Not only had she been boo'd, but the crowd had been expecting a more, _heavy_ sound! Well, in Ezra's words anyway.

She snatched the bottle from the top of her nightstand and began to attempt finishing it off in one gulp.

The memories came rushing back like a river gushing towards a fall. She was incapable of stopping them.

The crowd had been expecting a punk sound. Noah's electric guitar and Shane's stage presence and glamrock feel would have worked perfectly with this crowd.

By herself, all she was capable of was... folk.

She'd been boo'd as soon as she'd strummed the first chord on her acoustic guitar, and by the time she'd begun to sing, already her hair had been littered with bits of chicken and various sauces.

But the last straw for her had been when someone had literally thrown an entire tray of food at her. She'd been about to sing the chorus to one of her songs when it had happened.

She'd sobbed her way back to the green room and through bleary eyes and a shaky voice had called for a cab.

Felix had disappeared to god knows where, and she had really just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Which led her to her sorry state now. Luckily, the house had been empty when she'd arrived. So she'd washed up and ordered chinese, and had polished it off in ten minutes.

She'd contemplated calling Amy for comfort, but decided against it. Her phone had felt heavy in her palm, and it was then that she'd decided that for once, she wouldn't trouble Amy.

Now she laid there, miserable and pitiful, all alone on her bed and considering nursing one more bottle of wine.

She turned on her side and curled into herself.

Karma woke up the next morning to Felix's call.

"Karma! God are you okay?!" he exclaimed.

Karma smiled bitterly. "... I'm fine."

Felix, sensing the tension gulped audibly.

"You left before I could find you. I am _so_ sorry about what happened last night. I knew that spot could be rough, but... are you going to school today?"

Karma straightened up in her bed at that question. _Was_ she going to school today? Was she up to it?

"Karma?"

Karma sighed. "I kind of have to. Mandatory green world recycling day. Can't have an absence unless there's a valid reason."

And she couldn't use _'hangover'_ as one either.

"Okay. Well, maybe this is good. I could see you there, and we could ditch and grab some coffee?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I think I'd really like that," she responded. And she did. She hated that she'd instinctively distanced herself from Felix. She'd left without really taking the time to look for him, or for him to find her, and had literally wallowed in pity for most of the night.

And now she was more bitter about it than ever. Felix was perfect right about now. He was the only person she could count as being there for her and _only_ her.

"Okay, call me when you get there," his voice rang out. Karma felt a warmth begin to spread across her chest. She loved how... genuine his worry for her was.

And if she had to admit it, it was like... Felix wasn't well known at their school. Having been in and out of class, he'd always been a bit of a loner. He'd reached out to Amy and had unwittingly fallen for her. He was so... unattached to everyone else. He didn't reach out to just anyone. Amy had always been a bit of an outcast herself, which was how they'd been able to bond. But when Karma and Felix had discovered each other... it had been... just short of a miracle. Karma, who had been at the centre of almost all of her drama and angst, and Felix, always standing at the periphery.

Nobody got his attention more than she did. They hung out like friends did, confided in each other about mostly everything... even with Liam she'd never formed such a strong attachment to someone. And now that she thought about it, she guessed that it may have been because Liam was always ready to slip through her fingers.

Her relationship with Felix was effortless. It was as comforting as a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

She hurriedly threw on a pair of maroon tights and a striped black and white tank top.

Karma rushed past the doors and practically fled to her locker. A wave of natuia had hit her that morning as she was brushing her teeth, and as a consequence she'd thrown up the contents of her stomach and taken a shower. This resulted in her being late.

She cursed out loud as she hung her bag from a hook in her locker and closed it with a bang.

She tossed her hair over her shoulders and speed-walked to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee.

Her head was killing her! This coffee had better work some kind of miracle, because so help her...

It was then that she ran smack-dab into... _Amy._

Amy, having been the first to recover from the collision stood up and held out a hand for Karma to grab a hold of, while offering a sweet smile.

Karma felt her stomach tie up in knots.

She gulped and offered a tiny smile back, before hoisting herself up and dusting herself off.

"So..." Amy began, "cafeteria?"

"Yup," said Karma.

They both began to walk to the cafeteria, at first silent in thought before Amy broke the silence.

"How's it going? I haven't really seen you around," Amy quipped.

Karma smiled. "Yeah... I've been pretty busy with the band... and then there's Dianne to deal with," she murmured, rolling her eyes good naturedly. "How's Sabrina?"

Amy's eyes lit up. "She's great! Two weekends ago we stayed by a lake for the night. It was amazing."

Just then, Amy's phone rang.

"Oh. That's her now!"

Karma watched as Amy's generally monotoned voice rose several octaves higher, giving her a voice a sickeningly sweet quality.

Jus then, Karma spotted the tail end of a very familiar sweater only Shane would be caught dead wearing.

She continued to watch him discreetly from the corner of her eye, noticing how his form went rigid, as if sensing a foreign set of eyes on him.

Then, as if on cue Shane turned around completely. This time, Karma's back was completely to him.

She heard him speak in a hushed voice, and knew right then that Noah had been right next to him.

She expected Shane to walk up to her with an explanation, one from either of them, but disappointingly enough they didn't. She bitterly tuned back into Amy's conversation, who, surprise surprise, was still on the phone with Sabrina.

Amy finished the chat and ended the call, before turning to Karma.

"So... are you gonna come sit with Shane, Noah and me?" She asked obliviously. "You can even bring Fellix. I haven't seen him for a while."

Karma had to catch herself blurting out the happenings of the night before. "No... I kind of... don't feel that well," she finished lamely.

"Oh..." Amy responded. 'Well... this is me. Hope you feel better. Call me if anything comes up!. Ok? We need to catch up." Amy flashed her a bright smile.

"Yeah, for sure." replied Karma, offering a smile back that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Karma watched Amy's disappearing back, feeling a mix of anger and humiliation.

She formed her hands into fists.

How _dare_ they? Not even an explanation, no apology, nothing?

She huffed and walked off in the opposite direction, opting to wait for Feliz by the lobby doors.


End file.
